3 years ago
So, my boyfriend, Rafael, is leaving (forever) in one week, which is next Friday.
(Since some people asked; the reason why is:) His dad quit his job here and found a new job in Singapore. They’d have to move to prevent from going bankrupt. He (Rafael) also got accepted to a really prestigious school there that will almost guarantee his acceptance into the 3rd best university in Asia.
I wish I could be happy for him, but it’s so hard when it’s hurting so badly.
I’ve been tearing up for 3 days straight now (ever since he told me this), and it’s been completely horrible. I just can’t imagine moving to my new house (I’m moving) without seeing him visit me every morning before school and walk me to school like he always did. How he’d always open my door at 7am going “morning! :3” and we’d hug real tight, and we’d just walk to school hand-in-hand on those sunny, peaceful mornings - just the two of us and our stupid little inside jokes. And oh, how every afternoon after school he would walk with me home and spend half an hour with me. How every day we would have created a million new inside jokes, how everyday he’d call me loser & asshole and I wouldn’t give a damn. How at the end of it all he would always tell me how I’m so beautiful in his eyes. How everyday I was blessed of his grace, to see his beautiful smiles, the way his dimples show and his beautiful eyes crinkle. How we’d play these stupid little games when we’re cuddling (I won’t bore you on them), how we’d roll around and pretend we’re sushi rolls and floating heads, how I’d sometimes bite his chin, how we’d make little stick figures with our hands and attempt supergirl vs. superman battles, how he’d make fun of me when I make a stupid noise. How he’d make me laugh for hours, how I could look like a complete idiot and not give a damn. Because I always knew he would be the one I’d spend the rest of my whole life with. It’s just him. And no one else. Ever. He entered my life to make me the happiest girl in the world.
But in one week, he’s leaving it. In one week, all of this will disappear.
I will wake up alone. I will walk to school alone. I will walk home alone. I will spend hours and hours tearing up, missing him, all alone. & He won’t be there any more to walk me to the nearby supermarket to buy me bubble tea, he won’t go to my house to surprise me with snacks he’d bought, he won’t (great - I’m starting to cry) be there to dance around like an idiot with me when someone rings my doorbell (which is a hilarious, musical little tone), he won’t be there to make fun of my brother with me (and make ugly :B faces with me to piss my brother off), he won’t be there to make me the happiest girl in the world anymore.
One week. That’s all we have left, and he’s gone forever.
This here picture is a little tribute to one of our latest inside ‘jokes’ (not really a joke), a story about how I owned these imaginary little pet hamsters (about 20 of ‘em) who greet him everyday when he comes by. And these adorable little munchkins will miss him almost as much as I will. “Pweeeaaase don’t leave us?”
I love you, baby, and you know that I always will.
